Literature: A Slander (Anton Chekhov)

A Slander by Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860-1904)

SERGE KAPITONICH AHINEEV, the writing master, was marrying his daughter to the teacher of history and geography.

The wedding festivities were going off most successfully.

The wedding festivities were going off most successfully.

Waiters hired from the club were flitting distractedly about the rooms, dressed in black swallowtails and dirty white ties.

There was a continual hubub and din of conversation.

Sitting side by side on the sofa, the teacher of mathematics, the French teacher, and the junior assessor of taxes were talking hurriedly and interrupting one another as they described to the guests cases of persons being buried alive, and gave their opinions on spiritualism.

Sitting side by side on the sofa, the teacher of mathematics, the French teacher, and the junior assessor of taxes were talking hurriedly and interrupting one another as they described to the guests cases of persons being buried alive, and gave their opinions on spiritualism.

Sitting side by side on the sofa, the teacher of mathematics, the French teacher, and the junior assessor of taxes were talking hurriedly and interrupting one another as they described to the guests cases of persons being buried alive, and gave their opinions on spiritualism.

None of them believed in spiritualism, but all admitted that there were many things in this world which would always be beyond the mind of man.

In the next room the literature master was explaining to the visitors the cases in which a sentry has the right to fire on passers-by.

In the next room the literature master was explaining to the visitors the cases in which a sentry has the right to fire on passers-by.

In the next room the literature master was explaining to the visitors the cases in which a sentry has the right to fire on passers-by.

The subjects, as you perceive, were alarming, but very agreeable.

The subjects, as you perceive, were alarming, but very agreeable.

Persons whose social position precluded them from entering were looking in at the windows from the yard.

Persons whose social position precluded them from entering were looking in at the windows from the yard.

The kitchen from floor to ceiling was filled with fumes composed of goose, duck, and many other odors.

The kitchen from floor to ceiling was filled with fumes composed of goose, duck, and many other odors.

On two tables the accessories, the drinks and light refreshments, were set out in artistic disorder.

On two tables the accessories, the drinks and light refreshments, were set out in artistic disorder.

On two tables the accessories, the drinks and light refreshments, were set out in artistic disorder.

The cook, Marfa, a red-faced woman whose figure was like a barrel with a belt around it, was bustling about the tables.

The cook, Marfa, a red-faced woman whose figure was like a barrel with a belt around it, was bustling about the tables.

"What a perfume!

Under the paper on an immense dish there reposed a huge sturgeon, masked in jelly and decorated with capers, olives, and carrots.

Under the paper on an immense dish there reposed a huge sturgeon, masked in jelly and decorated with capers, olives, and carrots.

Under the paper on an immense dish there reposed a huge sturgeon, masked in jelly and decorated with capers, olives, and carrots.

Ahineev gazed at the sturgeon and gasped.

He bent down and with his lips emitted the sound of an ungreased wheel.

After standing a moment he snapped his fingers with delight and once more smacked his lips.

"Ah-ah! the sound of a passionate kiss.

Who is it you're kissing out there, little Marfa?" came a voice from the next room, and in the doorway there appeared the cropped head of the assistant usher, Vankin.

Who is it you're kissing out there, little Marfa?" came a voice from the next room, and in the doorway there appeared the cropped head of the assistant usher, Vankin.

Delighted to meet you!

"I'm not kissing," said Ahineev in confusion.

I smacked my lips . . . in reference to . . . as an indication of. . . pleasure . . . at the sight of the fish."

The intrusive face vanished, wearing a broad grin.

The intrusive face vanished, wearing a broad grin.

The intrusive face vanished, wearing a broad grin.

Ahineev flushed.

"Hang it!" he thought, "the beast will go now and talk scandal.

He'll disgrace me to all the town, the brute."

Ahineev went timidly into the drawing room and looked stealthily round for Vankin.

Vankin was standing by the piano, and, bending down with a jaunty air, was whispering something to the inspector's sister-in-law, who was laughing.

Vankin was standing by the piano, and, bending down with a jaunty air, was whispering something to the inspector's sister-in-law, who was laughing.

Vankin was standing by the piano, and, bending down with a jaunty air, was whispering something to the inspector's sister-in-law, who was laughing.

"About me, blast him!

Mercy on us!

I must do something to prevent his being believed.

I'll speak to them all, and he'll be shown up for a fool and a gossip."

Ahineev scratched his head, and still overcome with embarrassment, went up to the French teacher. web

Ahineev scratched his head, and still overcome with embarrassment, went up to the French teacher. web

Ahineev scratched his head, and still overcome with embarrassment, went up to the French teacher. web

"I know you are fond of fish, and I've a sturgeon, my dear fellow, beyond everything!

I looked at the sturgeon and I smacked my lips with relish . . . at the piquancy of it.

What a thing to imagine, silly fool!

The woman is a perfect fright, like all the beasts put together, and he talks about kissing!

He amused me, queer fish!

He went into the kitchen, saw me beside Marfa, and began inventing all sorts of silly stories.

'And I'd rather kiss a turkeycock than Marfa,' I said, 'And I've a wife of my own, you fool,' said I. He did amuse me!"

"Who amused you?" asked the priest who taught Scripture in the school, going up to Ahineev.

Within half an hour or so all the guests knew the incident of the sturgeon and Vankin.

He'll begin telling his story and they'll say to him at once, 'Enough of your improbable nonsense, you fool, we know all about it!"

He'll begin telling his story and they'll say to him at once, 'Enough of your improbable nonsense, you fool, we know all about it!"

And Ahineev was so relieved that in his joy he drank four glasses too many.

After escorting the young people to their room, he went to bed and slept like an innocent babe, and next day he thought no more of the incident with the sturgeon.

After escorting the young people to their room, he went to bed and slept like an innocent babe, and next day he thought no more of the incident with the sturgeon.

But, alas! man proposes, but God disposes.

But, alas! man proposes, but God disposes.

An evil tongue did its evil work, and Ahineev's strategy was of no avail.

An evil tongue did its evil work, and Ahineev's strategy was of no avail.

Just a week later--to be precise, on Wednesday after the third lesson--when Ahineev was standing in the middle of the teacher's room, holding forth on the vicious propensities of a boy called Visekin, the headmaster went up to him and drew him aside:

Just a week later--to be precise, on Wednesday after the third lesson--when Ahineev was standing in the middle of the teacher's room, holding forth on the vicious propensities of a boy called Visekin, the headmaster went up to him and drew him aside:

"Look here, Sergei Kapitonich," said the headmaster, "you must excuse me.

It's not my business; but all the same I must make you realize.

You see, there are rumors that you are romancing with that . . . cook.

You see, there are rumors that you are romancing with that . . . cook.

It's nothing to do with me, but . . . flirt with her, kiss her . . . as you please, but don't let it be so public, please.

I entreat you!

He went home like a man stung by a whole swarm of bees, like a man scalded with boiling water.

He went home like a man stung by a whole swarm of bees, like a man scalded with boiling water.

He went home like a man stung by a whole swarm of bees, like a man scalded with boiling water.

As he walked home, it seemed to him that the whole town was looking at him as though he were smeared with pitch.

At home fresh trouble awaited him.

"Why aren't you gobbling up your food as usual?" his wife asked him at dinner.

"What are you so pensive about?

Brooding over your amours?

O-o-o! . . . you savage !"

"You scoundrel!" he addressed him.

"You scoundrel!" he addressed him.

Vankin blinked and twitched in every fiber of his battered countenance, raised his eyes to the icon and articulated, "God blast me!

Vankin blinked and twitched in every fiber of his battered countenance, raised his eyes to the icon and articulated, "God blast me!

Vankin blinked and twitched in every fiber of his battered countenance, raised his eyes to the icon and articulated, "God blast me!

Vankin blinked and twitched in every fiber of his battered countenance, raised his eyes to the icon and articulated, "God blast me!

May I be left without house and home, may I be stricken with worse than cholera!"

Vankin's sincerity did not admit of doubt.

Vankin's sincerity did not admit of doubt.

It was evidently not he who was the author of the slander.

Ahineev wondered, going over all his acquaintances in his mind and beating himself on the breast.