The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act 2

I was then frugal of my mirth.

O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honor!

These knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.

And yet he would not swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words.

I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters writ with blank space for different names—sure, more—and these are of the second edition.

Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.

Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.

Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him that may not sully the chariness of our honesty.

He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
He loves the gallimaufry.

O, odious is the name!

Whither go you, George? Hark you.

But these that accuse him in his intent
towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
men, very rogues, now they be out of service.

I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath to turn them together.

Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.

My merry Host hath had the measuring of their weapons and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester.

Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest cavalier?

But I’ll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook—only for a jest.

Thou shalt have egress and regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be Brook.

I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow Nym, or else you had looked through the grate like a gemini of baboons.

Think’st thou I’ll endanger my soul gratis?

At a word, hang no more about me. I am no gibbet for you. Go—a short knife and a throng—to your manor of Pickt-hatch, go.

Ay, ay, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold beating oaths under the shelter of your honor!

Shall I vouchsafe your Worship a word or two?

Lord, Lord, your Worship’s a wanton!

The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary.

I never knew a woman so dote upon a man.

Old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.

Sir John, there’s one Master Brook below would fain speak with you and be acquainted with you, and hath sent your Worship a morning’s draught of sack. (He hands Falstaff the wine.)

Good Sir John, I sue for yours—not to charge you, for I must let you understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are, the which hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.

I have long loved her and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her, followed her with a doting observance, engrossed opportunities to meet her, fee’d every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her, not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many to know what she would have given.

But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed I am sure I have received none, unless experience be a jewel.

Have you importuned her to such a purpose?

Like a fair house built on another man’s ground, so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it.

Thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold.

I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue’s coffer, and there’s my harvest home.

I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o’er the cuckold’s horns.

What a damned epicurean rascal is this!

Who says this is improvident jealousy?

Then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect.

DOCTOR CAIUS: Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY: Forbear. Here’s company.