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A Very Large Expanse of Sea: Chapters 11–19

It is 2002, and Shirin, a Muslim-American teenager, faces prejudice from the students and teachers at her school. When popular basketball player Ocean James falls for Shirin, she has difficulty trusting that his affection is real — and fears their relationship will not be able to withstand the bigoted reactions of their community.

Here are links to our lists for the novel: Chapters 1–4, Chapters 5–10, Chapters 11–19, Chapters 20–26, Chapters 27–38
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Full list of words from this list:

  1. superficial
    of little substance or significance
    In fact, we changed gears so quickly from serious to superficial that I actually walked out the door wondering if I’d imagined the part where he told me I was beautiful.
  2. diplomat
    an official engaged in international negotiations
    I went to this really fancy international school in Tehran for a while, and all my classmates were these horrible, spoiled...children of diplomats.
  3. epiphany
    a usually sudden insight, perception, or understanding of something
    He shook his head and said, “I wish you’d stop saying things like that to me. I don’t think you’re weird. And I don’t know why you think I’m going to have a sudden epiphany that you’re weird and start freaking out. I’m not. Okay? I genuinely don’t care that you cover your hair. I don’t. I mean”—he hesitated—“as long as it’s, like, something you actually want to do.”
  4. nullify
    declare invalid
    I wasn’t sure why, but they loved pointing out to me that they could already see an inch of my hair, like maybe that would be enough to nullify the whole thing.
  5. hijab
    a headscarf worn by Muslim women
    I never thought I’d hear any kid at this school use the word hijab so casually.
  6. colloquial
    characteristic of informal spoken language or conversation
    Hijabis was a sort of colloquial term some people used to describe girls who wore hijab.
  7. evasive
    deliberately vague or ambiguous
    I knew my evasiveness would only make the situation worse, so I gave in.
  8. deliberate
    think about carefully; weigh
    I’d been deliberating for hours whether or not to ask the question—even how to ask the question—and, finally, I just gave in and made a mess of it.
  9. convey
    make known; pass on, of information
    I tried desperately to convey this with my eyes, but Navid seemed incapable of picking up my signals.
  10. abrasion
    an area where the skin is torn or worn off
    I was so raw from repeated exposure to cruelty that now even the most minor abrasions left a mark.
  11. nuance
    a subtle difference in meaning or opinion or attitude
    I looked out at the world around me and no longer saw nuance.
  12. ether
    a medium that was once thought to fill all space
    And then, our messages crossed paths in the ether:
    I wrote my brother didn't bother you, did he?
    and Ocean wrote don't worry, it has nothing to do with you
  13. naive
    inexperienced
    I thought Ocean was a nice guy, but I also thought he was naive.
  14. marrow
    network of connective tissue filling the cavities of bones
    This dizziness was in my marrow, in my mind.
  15. bravado
    a swaggering show of courage
    My voice was shaking a little; some of my bravado had worn off.
  16. ingrained
    deeply rooted; firmly fixed or held
    Here, separated by his desk, I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I was talking to a teacher, and old, deeply ingrained habits were reminding me that I was just a sixteen-year-old kid very much at the mercy of these random, underpaid adults.
  17. demeaning
    causing someone to lose status or the respect of others
    Bijan seemed to feel sorry for me in a way that I found only a little demeaning, so I didn’t mind his company.
  18. conniption
    a display of bad temper
    I thought she was having a conniption.
  19. loathe
    dislike intensely; feel disgust toward
    I loathed myself the entire twenty-five-foot walk over to her, but I did it.
  20. abysmal
    very great; limitless
    The quality of this female interaction had been worse than abysmal.
  21. platonic
    free from physical desire
    Though, to be fair, I’d been looking for a platonic friend, preferably female.
  22. wary
    marked by keen caution and watchful prudence
    He smiled, but his eyes looked wary, a little worried.
  23. apropos
    of a suitable, fitting, or pertinent nature
    I was tapping my pencil against a blank page in my notebook, avoiding the dead cat between us and instead trying to think of things to hate about him, when Ocean turned to me, apropos of nothing, and said,
    “Hey, am I saying your name right?”
  24. render
    cause to become
    So surprised, in fact, that I was rendered, for a moment, speechless.
  25. herculean
    extremely difficult; requiring great strength
    I walked into bio the next day, prepared to make the herculean effort to be an aloof, boring lab partner yet again, when the whole thing finally just fell apart.
  26. aloof
    distant, cold, or detached in manner
    I walked into bio the next day, prepared to make the herculean effort to be an aloof, boring lab partner yet again, when the whole thing finally just fell apart.
  27. etiquette
    rules governing socially acceptable behavior
    I grabbed my bag when the bell rang, ready to run for my life, when he said my name and only the very basic rules of etiquette held me in place.
  28. profound
    far-reaching and thoroughgoing in effect
    Sitting next to him all through class had been profound and excruciating.
  29. repugnant
    offensive to the mind
    A boy had been dared to kiss me once and he’d kissed me on the cheek and it was not repugnant, exactly, but the whole thing had been so awkward that even the memory bothered me.
  30. meander
    move or cause to move in a winding or curving course
    There were no confusing, meandering statements with him.
  31. elements
    violent or severe weather
    He just put himself out there, his heart exposed directly to the elements, and wow, I respected him for it.
  32. mortification
    strong feelings of embarrassment
    I could imagine his paralysis; I could imagine the awkwardness that would wash over us both, how we’d try to pretend it hadn’t happened, even as I was filled slowly with mortification; I knew how such an experience would, inevitably, make him self-conscious about spending time with me, how he’d one day realize he didn’t want to be seen with me in public.
  33. pleasantry
    an agreeable or amusing remark
    I could see him introducing me to the people in his world, see their thinly veiled disgust and/or disapproval, see how being with me would make him realize that his own friends were closet racists, that his parents were happy to make general pleasantries with the nonconforming among us so long as we never tried to kiss their children.
  34. entity
    that which is perceived to have its own distinct existence
    There was a time when my presence only confused people; I used to be just a regular weirdo, the kind of unfathomable entity that was easily disregarded, easily discarded.
  35. akin
    similar in quality or character
    It would be fine. Or something akin to fine.
  36. preoccupation
    the mental state of being obsessed by something
    Yusef couldn’t have known the deep preoccupation of my mind.
  37. apprehension
    fearful expectation or anticipation
    My sudden relief was replaced, in an instant, by apprehension.
  38. concerted
    involving the joint activity of two or more
    It took a concerted effort to keep from telling Yusef to go away, that this was obviously a bad time for small talk, that he clearly had no idea how to read social cues...
  39. dissolution
    the termination or disintegration of a relationship
    I’d had it all worked out in my head; I’d hoped to tell a story, paint a picture, illustrate very, very clearly why this whole thing was doomed, and why we should avoid hurtling toward the inevitable and painful dissolution of whatever it was we were building here.
  40. euphoria
    a feeling of great elation
    He kissed me and I felt actual euphoria, like all my senses had merged and I was reduced to breaths and heartbeats and repeating integers.
Created on Wed Oct 24 08:57:38 EDT 2018 (updated Wed Oct 24 12:43:58 EDT 2018)

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