Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 1

Were ’t not affection chains thy tender days
To the sweet glances of thy honored love,
I rather would entreat thy company
To see the wonders of the world abroad
Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.

Wish me partaker in thy happiness
When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
If ever danger do environ thee,
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.

To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans,
Coy looks with heart-sore sighs, one fading
moment’s mirth
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights;
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
If lost, why then a grievous labor won;
How ever, but a folly bought with wit,
Or else a wit by folly vanquishèd.

To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans,
Coy looks with heart-sore sighs, one fading
moment’s mirth
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights;
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
If lost, why then a grievous labor won;
How ever, but a folly bought with wit,
Or else a wit by folly vanquishèd.

To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans,
Coy looks with heart-sore sighs, one fading
moment’s mirth
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights;
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
If lost, why then a grievous labor won;
How ever, but a folly bought with wit,
Or else a wit by folly vanquishèd.

’Tis love you cavil at; I am not Love.

But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee
That art a votary to fond desire?

And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.

Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.

Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her, no,
not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter.

Go, go, begone, to save your ship from wrack,
Which cannot perish having thee aboard,
Being destined to a drier death on shore.

I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
Receiving them from such a worthless post.

JULIA: But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
LUCETTA: Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.

Pardon, dear madam, ’tis a passing shame
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.

LUCETTA: [handing her a paper] Peruse this paper, madam.

JULIA: Will you be gone?
LUCETTA: That you may ruminate.

It were a shame to call her back again
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.

What fool is she that knows I am a maid
And would not force the letter to my view,
Since maids in modesty say “no” to that
Which they would have the profferer construe “ay”!

Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
That like a testy babe will scratch the nurse
And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod!

Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
That like a testy babe will scratch the nurse
And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod!

How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here!

My penance is to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.

My penance is to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.

You, minion, are too saucy.

Nay, now you are too flat
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant.

Nay, now you are too flat
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant.

Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.

Tell me, Pantino, what sad talk was that
Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?

For any or for all these exercises
He said that Proteus your son was meet,
And did request me to importune you
To let him spend his time no more at home,
Which would be great impeachment to his age
In having known no travel in his youth.

Experience is by industry achieved
And perfected by the swift course of time.

There shall he practice tilts and tournaments,
Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen,
And be in eye of every exercise
Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.

Even with the speediest expedition
I will dispatch him to the Emperor’s court.

Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed,
For what I will, I will, and there an end.

Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.

Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto.