in an abundant manner
I apologize to him
profusely as I write my note and leave it on the kitchen table.
the savage and excessive killing of many people
When they see the
carnage, they cluck and gasp.
move unsteadily, with a rocking motion
teeter over to Rhiannon.
derive or receive pleasure from
bask instead in the victory of seeing me run.
the act of scouting
They had plenty of mutual friends who could have done
reconnaissance, but Dawn felt that if she was going to risk it, she was going to risk it firsthand.
impossible to deny or disprove
The first part is
irrefutable, but even to me, the second part sounds weak.
“But what if I’m the one that something is supposed to happen to? What if I’m supposed to be here, and if I’m not, the world will go the wrong direction? In some
infinitesimal but important way.”
marked by up-to-dateness in dress and manners
So I put together a
dapper outfit—maybe a little too
dapper, but if what I’ve accessed about Dawn is true, I know she’ll appreciate it.
cut small bits or pare shavings from
whittle away the hours online.
having a sophisticated charm
She loves the way Vic looks, using the word
debonair instead of dapper.
a strange attitude or habit
I’ve always wondered what that word meant, but this is what it is, this is what it feels like, and Dawn says she has no idea what song I’m talking about, but it doesn’t matter, she’s used to my
quirks by now, and I tell her I’ll play it for her later, but in the meantime there’s this and this and this.
a ritual reciting of words believed to have a magical effect
This is my name, and coming from his lips right now it sounds like both an
incantation and a cry of disbelief.
seeming unaffected by pleasure or pain; impassive
My extended family is here, too—crying cousins, tearful aunts,
an expression of sympathy with another's grief
My father seems to be taking it the hardest, and he is the magnet for everyone else’s
a person who makes deceitful pretenses
I feel like a complete
the act of giving relief in affliction
After the food and the stories and the
consolation, there’s the drinking, and after the drinking, there’s the ride home.
difficult to use or handle because of size or weight
I am not a linebacker. No, I’m fat. Flabby,
caused by or evidencing a mentally disturbed condition
Finn Taylor has retreated from most of the world; his size comes from negligence and laziness, a carelessness that would be
pathological if it had any meticulousness to it.
marked by extreme care in treatment of details
Finn Taylor has retreated from most of the world; his size comes from negligence and laziness, a carelessness that would be pathological if it had any
meticulousness to it.
affording no ease or reassurance
But I have to see Rhiannon—I can’t cancel on her for a second day in a row, not when things feel so
precarious between us.
having existed from the beginning
But there’s also something more
primal, something more defensive in their disgust.
a pause for relaxation
respite is lunch, where Finn has his two best friends, Ralph and Dylan.
an unforeseen obstacle
hitch is that Nathan is expecting me to be a guy named Andrew, since that’s who I said I was last time.
concerning each of two or more persons or things
I don’t really trust him, but I tell him I do, as a way of inspiring a
a protein in wheat and other grains that makes dough elastic
The next day, a Sunday, I wake up as Ainsley Mills. Allergic to
gluten, afraid of spiders, proud owner of three Scotties, two of which sleep in her bed.
a fervent and even militant proponent of something
“Do you think this is an accident? Do you think I’m just some religious
zealot here to exorcise your demons away? Did you ever ask yourself why I am cataloging such things, what I’m looking for? The answer is you, Andrew. And others like you.”
expel through adjuration or prayers
“Do you think this is an accident? Do you think I’m just some religious zealot here to
exorcise your demons away? Did you ever ask yourself why I am cataloging such things, what I’m looking for? The answer is you, Andrew. And others like you.”
earnest or urgent request
There’s recognition in his eyes, yes. But there’s also menace. And something else—an
a flamboyant deceiver
I want to think he’s an actor, a
charlatan, a fake.
urge with or as if with a prod
My story is front and center on Poole’s website—a bastardized account of what I told Nathan, with some errors that come either from Nathan hiding something or from Poole
goading me on.
stunned or confused and slow to react
“What time is it?” she asks
cause to separate and go in different directions
Nothing from the previous night has
an external body part that projects from the body
“Even if you were green and had a beard and a male
appendage between your legs. Even if your eyebrows were orange and you had a mole covering your entire cheek and a nose that poked me in the eye every time I kissed you. Even if you weighed seven hundred pounds and had hair the size of a Doberman under your arms. Even then, I would love you.”
decorate with strings of flowers
I run upstairs and find it in his closet—a bag
festooned with Post-its, each of them filled in with something his parents have said to him over the years, from A is for Apple to Always remember to check your blind spot.
search or inquire in a meddlesome way
pry too much about this.
extremely sharp or intense
The hopeless romantics feel it most
acutely, but even for others, the only way to keep going is to see every person as a possibility.
In the cereal aisle, we offer autobiographies in the form of the cereals we’ve eaten over the years, trying to
pinpoint the year that the cereal turning the milk blue stopped being cool and started being gross.
an arrangement of objects or persons one behind another
We move in unison, move in
take delight in
I light more candles, and
revel in the sight of her.
a state or condition markedly different from the norm
Over the course of her life, this day will be a slight, barely noticeable