Iveliz Explains It All: List 3

by Andrea Beatriz Arango
Unable to share her troubled feelings with anyone, twelve-year-old Iveliz Margarita Snow Medina addresses her journal in poems that describe her life in Maryland.

This list covers "I Try to Stay Calm"–"Epilogue."

Here are links to our lists for the novel: List 1, List 2, List 3
30 words 86 learners

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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. craft
    the skilled practice of a practical occupation
    It was a Friday, Journal,
    and our local bookstore
    was having a slam poetry fest,
    with poets spitting poems and talking “craft”
    and being all the things
    I wanted to be.
  2. fate
    the ultimate agency predetermining the course of events
    She always refers to it as
    “the accident.”
    And everyone else talks about how
    God has mysterious plans.

    How it was fate—
    how my dad was just too good
    too funny
    too smart
    and so God called him back early
    to light up the sky.
  3. catastrophe
    an event resulting in great loss and misfortune
    Like the whole thing was
    una bendición
    and not an earth-shattering
    catastrophe
    caused by a selfish girl
    always trying to get what she wants.
  4. humongous
    very large
    Mami, I whisper.
    And she must sense the humongous secret
    I’m about to lay on her,
    because she stops washing immediately
  5. policy
    a plan of action adopted by an individual or social group
    She doesn’t speak when she picks me up
    or when the principal tells her I’ve been suspended suspended—
    not ISBI this time, but out of school.
    School policy and all,
    seeing as how this time,
    I actually hit Justin’s face.
  6. gist
    the central meaning or theme of a speech or literary work
    She’s talking to one of my aunts in PR,
    and even though all I hear is Mami’s side,
    I get the gist of it real fast
  7. specifically
    in distinction from others
    But Turnip isn’t waiting for me to smile,
    and he doesn’t want to talk about feelings.
    Instead he asks about meds.
    Specifically, if they’re still working.
  8. burden
    a serious or difficult concern
    What I heard was:
    You are a burden to everyone you love.
  9. longing
    prolonged unfulfilled desire or need
    I want my home, Ive. Please.

    And the longing in her voice
    makes my guts twist and turn
  10. knead
    use the hands to mix and work something into a uniform mass
    Instead, Mimi shows me how to make her arepas,
    and we spend all morning kneading
    flour and coconut milk,
    making little balls of dough
    and frying them golden brown and hot
    till they’re ready to eat.
  11. deploy
    place troops or weapons in battle formation
    When I come out of my room,
    I see Mimi at the kitchen table
    with dozens of Grandpa Nuni’s letters
    (from when he was deployed)
    spread about.
  12. grieve
    feel intense sorrow, especially due to a loss
    He says grieving side by side
    is not the same as grieving together,
    and sharing a loss is not sharing
    if we don’t ever talk.
  13. resilient
    recovering readily from adversity, depression, or the like
    And sure, everyone talked about how
    ~resilient~ I was...
    but is it surviving
    when it’s other people holding you up?
  14. hesitate
    pause or hold back in uncertainty or unwillingness
    That stops the guilty feelings a little bit
    but not a whole, whole lot,
    and I don’t know why I’m so nervous
    as Mami pulls up,
    but I actually hesitate and my heart speeds up.
  15. irrational
    not consistent with or using reason
    And I know right then that she hates it,
    and although I know it’s irrational,
    I think maybe she also hates me.
  16. dignify
    give status or attention to, often undeservedly
    And I don’t dignify her with an answer,
    because therapy has *nothing* to do with my makeover
  17. virtual
    occurring, existing, or carried out over a computer network
    And I feel so far away from him anyways
    that I want to at least give him
    something.
    A crumb.
    A virtual hug.
  18. cosmic
    pertaining to or characteristic of the universe
    Am I just not meant to be here?
    Because every day it becomes harder
    and harder
    not to take that car crash
    as some sort of
    cosmic sign.
  19. register
    enter into someone's consciousness
    I run to the trash, barely registering her
    as she moves a confused Mimi out of the room,
    feeling my eyes tear up
  20. sprawling
    spreading out in different directions
    I kick the can, hard,
    and all the trash and pills
    go sprawling out over the kitchen floor
  21. clatter
    make a rattling sound
    the doorknob clatters to the ground next to me,
    and Mami busts into the bathroom
  22. stubby
    short and blunt
    I cross my arms over my chest,
    still mad at the thin gown they made me wear,
    at the stubby little-kid pencil they gave me to write with,
    saying mine was too sharp.
  23. utter
    complete
    School is an utter mess,
    un rebulú total,
    and if I manage not to fail a single class
    other than gardening
    I will count that as a win.
  24. defensive
    attempting to justify something or avoid criticism
    When I find Akiko at school,
    she looks more hurt than angry,
    and even though I immediately get defensive,
    I tell my brain to slow down
    quiet down
    and stop.
  25. sensitive
    being susceptible to the attitudes or feelings of others
    I was just joking. I didn’t know you were actually crazy.
    Jeez. So sensitive.
    Any other words I can’t say at all?
  26. scuff
    mar or wear away by rubbing or scraping
    But—
    you should have said something sooner,
    she says,
    shrugging at me
    and scuffing her shoe on the floor.
  27. flare
    erupt or intensify suddenly
    And I feel annoyance flare up,
    ’cause it’s not my job to teach anybody
    anything
  28. diagnosis
    identifying the nature or cause of some phenomenon
    I still haven’t forgiven how she made me feel
    for WEEKS (months?)
    when she found out about my pills
    and my diagnosis
    and the things I do to survive.
  29. ingest
    take food, drink, or some other substance into the body
    Mami uploads the scanned pictures,
    the ones that gave me the sniffles
    from ingesting too much dust
  30. riveting
    capable of arousing and holding the attention
    Knowing me,
    it might make me an even better poet,
    more riveting for my future fans.
Created on Sat Jan 06 15:16:57 EST 2024 (updated Sun Jan 07 12:06:01 EST 2024)

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