The Smartest Kid in the Universe: Chapters 25–39

The two of them had been brainstorming ways to speed up the demolition of Riverview Middle School.

“What’s the big idea?” asked Heath Huxley.
“We host the District Middle School Quiz Bowl!”
“And how does that help our humble cause?”

Mrs. Malvolio nonchalantly fanned the air. Her uncle’s last sentence had three stinky Hs in it.
“It’s a great opportunity to showcase this building’s horrible condition...."

“Oh, it’s a terrific plan. It could really ramp up our timetable. Get us to our financing source sooner. I just have one concern. One qualm.”
“Go on.”
“This girl you told me about. The smart one.”
“Grace Garcia? Not a problem.”

“There are no guarantees when you’re pushing the outer limits of science as I’m attempting to do. I’m conjuring up magic here, fellas. Put on your patience pants. It took me all week to cook up this one jelly bean. I had to tweak the growth factors.”

“‘BDNF’ stands for ‘brain-derived neurotrophic factor,’” explained Farooqi. “And, yes, manipulating those proteins is the key to my research.”
“Works for me,” said Kojo. “Go for it, baby.”

“Then go!” said Farooqi. “Quick. Do it again. There might’ve been something about the stomach agitation generated by the bus ride that stimulated the chemical’s rapid entry into your bloodstream and your remarkable results. Anything is possible when pursuing the impossible!”

“I need to hop off,” said Jake when the bus was two stops away from his apartment building. “I want to procure some provisions.”
“Huh?”
“Foodstuffs.”

“I need to hop off,” said Jake when the bus was two stops away from his apartment building. “I want to procure some provisions.”
“Huh?”
“Foodstuffs.”

“Making dinner for us.”
“Tapas?”
“Yeah. Pan tumaca con jamón, or tomatoes and ham on toasted bread, a Spanish omelet, plus some prawns with chorizo for me and Mom; olives, cheeses, vegan meatballs, and patatas bravas covered with a spicy sauce for vegetarian you.”

“The purple jelly bean didn’t work?”
“Not the way we wanted it to. But my mom sure enjoyed my newfound mastery of Spanish cuisine. I also know some obscure historical trivia about Spain, the Spanish Armada, and, for some reason, Spaniels.”
“Remarkable,” said Farooqi. “But still no language skills?”
“Nada.”

“Can you help me? I’m having trouble with my verbs.”
“Ah, yes. Verbs. A word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence that forms the main part of the predicate in a sentence. To run. To sprint. To dart. To dash. To scuttle...”

“Can you help me? I’m having trouble with my verbs.”
“Ah, yes. Verbs. A word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence that forms the main part of the predicate in a sentence. To run. To sprint. To dart. To dash. To scuttle...”

Grace nodded. “For centuries, members of my family have served as noble knights, guarding the treasure our ancestors bequeathed to us.”

“But wait a second—why didn’t your uncle or one of those other ancestors dig up the treasure if they all knew where it was hidden?”
“Oh, they’ve tried. Many times. Uncle Charley went on a few expeditions with his father, who’d gone treasure hunting with his father. But the cabin boy was very, very clever. He hid the treasure where no one could find it, not even his family, unless they could decipher his complicated and confusing clue.”

“Jake,” she said, “we need to save the school and whatever my ancestor buried underneath it.”
“Whoa,” said Kojo. “There’s something buried underneath the school?”
“Allegedly,” said Jake.

“Pirate booty,” said Grace.
“You mean gold doubloons or those cheesy corn puffs?”
“Gold doubloons, jewels, silver,” said Grace. “A whole treasure chest filled with plunder.”

Jake even went back to playing basketball the way he used to. Badly. With lots of two-handed, underarm tosses. Except at the foul line, because jelly bean-brain Jake knew that a scientific analysis had concluded that using a “granny-style” technique was the optimal method for making a free throw, and, until after the Quiz Bowl, he had to miss those shots, too.

Max Myer, the meteorologist at one of the local TV stations, was checking himself in a hand mirror, prepping and primping to be the celebrity quizmaster.

Jake sat down beside Hubert.
“Ah,” said Hubert. “If it isn’t the genius who thinks vapid video games about intergalactic zombies are twenty-first-century learning tools.”

“When this is over, the whole audience will be chanting ‘Riverview stinks!’ We’re going to trounce you. If you make it to the finals, that is.”
Jake smiled. “Okay.”
Hubert laughed. “You ignoramus. ‘Trounce’ means ‘to defeat heavily in a contest.’”
It also means “to rebuke or punish severely,” Jake thought.

“When this is over, the whole audience will be chanting ‘Riverview stinks!’ We’re going to trounce you. If you make it to the finals, that is.”
Jake smiled. “Okay.”
Hubert laughed. “You ignoramus. ‘Trounce’ means ‘to defeat heavily in a contest.’”
It also means “to rebuke or punish severely,” Jake thought.

“When this is over, the whole audience will be chanting ‘Riverview stinks!’ We’re going to trounce you. If you make it to the finals, that is.”
Jake smiled. “Okay.”
Hubert laughed. “You ignoramus. ‘Trounce’ means ‘to defeat heavily in a contest.’”
It also means “to rebuke or punish severely,” Jake thought.

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen,” chirped the TV meteorologist, Max Myer, who was really enjoying his stint as a game show host.

“And,” Hubert continued, “for the dimwit in the audience, an asterism is a prominent pattern or group of stars.”
Jake rolled his eyes. Hubert might be a genius, but he was also a jerk.

“Okay, Sunny Brook, here is your second-to-last question,” said the host.
“Or, you know, the penultimate one,” cracked Jake. All the brainy people in the audience, like Grace’s father and the district superintendent, chuckled.

“You might stay smart forever, Jake,” said Farooqi. “Or it might all disappear tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow?” said Kojo. “Tomorrow’s Saturday. Does being smart take the weekend off?”
“I was just making a hypothetical statement,” said Farooqi. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m needed in Bumgartner Hall. My TV lecture class. Those students aren’t going to monitor themselves. That would be bedlam. Chaos...”

“You might stay smart forever, Jake,” said Farooqi. “Or it might all disappear tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow?” said Kojo. “Tomorrow’s Saturday. Does being smart take the weekend off?”
“I was just making a hypothetical statement,” said Farooqi. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m needed in Bumgartner Hall. My TV lecture class. Those students aren’t going to monitor themselves. That would be bedlam. Chaos...”

“Are you making more jelly beans?” asked Jake, a hint of desperation in his voice.

“I’m serious. For decades, Riverview has produced great thinkers, athletes, performers, and business leaders. It’s proof of the power of public education. It’s why my wife and I insisted that Grace go there. But I must admit, it’s a shame that your beloved alma mater has become such a shambles.”

“I’m serious. For decades, Riverview has produced great thinkers, athletes, performers, and business leaders. It’s proof of the power of public education. It’s why my wife and I insisted that Grace go there. But I must admit, it’s a shame that your beloved alma mater has become such a shambles.”

“Ah, yes. The notorious Mr. Huxley. He’s the one who tore down a senior citizen housing complex to build a shiny mall full of ridiculously expensive shops.”

“I’d like to run a few ‘intelligence’ tests on you, Jake,” said Professor Garcia. “Generate some irrefutable proof. Tomorrow’s Saturday. Are you free at, say, eleven?”

A desk and a chair were set up on the floor at the base of the steep amphitheater. Three adults sat in the front row looking extremely brainy. Grace grabbed a seat in the row behind them.

“Uh, hi,” said Jake, giving the three professors a nervous finger-wiggle wave.
They nodded grimly, their faces masks of seriousness.