Everything on a Waffle: List 4

She had tried to convince him that an eligible bachelor had many opportunities himself, if he was unencumbered by obligations.

I knew he had just said this to let her down gently but it seemed to me it only gave her a greater motivation to get rid of me.

I kind of liked “solarium” myself although it did not lend itself to such easy usage.

I waited apprehensively to see how my teacher planned to deal with these issues. It turned out that they just wanted me to take the class pet guinea pig, Herman, home for weekends.

It made me nervous to have them volunteer when I knew they regarded me with scorn, so I hobbled nervously behind them wondering if they were going to play a prank on me.

“And so!” I announced indignantly that night to Uncle Jack over chicken potpies, “they marched in, without even knocking, and played hockey right here in your very own gym.”

“She thought you might be accident-prone,” said Uncle Jack, looking at his food and eating industriously.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong,” said Uncle Jack, smiling, chewing, and winking again. “I told them they could come in anytime and use the gym. No sense trying to play street hockey now that the rainy season has started. We’ve got a gym that goes all but unused. I said that the only stipulation was that they had to find a disabled goalie. And not just disabled, one that had lost a toe!” I digested this silently.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong,” said Uncle Jack, smiling, chewing, and winking again. “I told them they could come in anytime and use the gym. No sense trying to play street hockey now that the rainy season has started. We’ve got a gym that goes all but unused. I said that the only stipulation was that they had to find a disabled goalie. And not just disabled, one that had lost a toe!” I digested this silently.

I grabbed the gym door, threw it open, and whispered hoarsely, “What about the deal you made with my uncle Jack?”

Stir at low heat until the cheese is melted. Serve garnished with garlic croutons.

One summer when our family was in our skiff going up the Johnstone Strait, we saw a pod of orcas coming.

There were five of them swimming together perfectly in sync, in and out of the waves so harmoniously and peacefully, that I felt like an outsider in these familiar waters.

Then I noticed that the parking lot was strewn with boxes and little old ladies in orthopedic shoes, including Miss Perfidy, who went to the same church as Miss Honeycut.

Then I noticed that the parking lot was strewn with boxes and little old ladies in orthopedic shoes, including Miss Perfidy, who went to the same church as Miss Honeycut.

They were probably getting ready for a rummage sale.

As I stood gawking, Miss Perfidy started talking in a loud voice about how I had always been a strange lone child.

There were two lines of seals now, moving through the water in parallel rows as if they’d choreographed it.

“I’ll take it from here,” Miss Bowzer said to her, smiling with her Irish eyes in a way that was probably very insincere but very effective.

I watched Miss Bowzer bustle around the kitchen, not exactly poetry in motion—dropping a lot of stuff and throwing things about.

Well, he didn’t burn to a cinder or anything because, although one of the apron strings had caught fire and ignited the wood chips in his cage, we got him out before anything worse than a light singeing of his fur had occurred.

Well, he didn’t burn to a cinder or anything because, although one of the apron strings had caught fire and ignited the wood chips in his cage, we got him out before anything worse than a light singeing of his fur had occurred.

“So, you felt the need to cut all of Herman’s hair off this weekend,” said Miss Honeycut. “What would you say precipitated this attack on a small helpless animal?”

“It isn’t like sheepshearing, you know, where the animal needs to be sheared. In the farms our family owns around our manor house, where our tenant farmers work...” Miss Honeycut’s voice droned on while I studied her.

I listened for a second, she was rambling about her boarding school days.

I watched the game in disgust for a while and then took Mallomar and went down to the beach to give her a run. She started out after the birds with all her characteristic vim and vigor but toward the end she would look up at the birds and kind of fade out.

I watched the game in disgust for a while and then took Mallomar and went down to the beach to give her a run. She started out after the birds with all her characteristic vim and vigor but toward the end she would look up at the birds and kind of fade out.

Nevertheless, I succumbed. Such was the power of his smile.

“Primrose!” she said briskly. She was a very brisk person, as if the three of us were constantly late for our trains and only she could get us organized and on our tracks on time.

I didn’t know why she had decided to go all subtle suddenly.

“Where do you live, Miss Honeycut?” asked Uncle Jack, his brow furrowing as if he had suddenly thought of something desperately important.

“Yes, I remember you mentioning them when last we spoke,” said Miss Honeycut curtly.

Uncle Jack was momentarily stymied. This was the first he had heard about Herman’s haircut.

“Oh, but, Primrose,” said Uncle Jack, reading his menu. “The rich are notoriously cheap. That’s how they became the rich. Now, what’s good at this hash house?”

Uncle Jack was very partial to gravy but he went with the broiled swordfish, which he said was the most upscale thing on the menu.

“To the mink farm. Mr. Contram pays ten cents a pound. All those hockey-playing boys do it when they need spare change. They wait for a whale to get towed in. The fish follow the whale. Why, haven’t you noticed that the whole bay is teeming with them, feeding on each other and the carcass? Easiest thing in the world. I’ve seen them do it. You just dip in a net and scoop them up.”

“To the mink farm. Mr. Contram pays ten cents a pound. All those hockey-playing boys do it when they need spare change. They wait for a whale to get towed in. The fish follow the whale. Why, haven’t you noticed that the whole bay is teeming with them, feeding on each other and the carcass? Easiest thing in the world. I’ve seen them do it. You just dip in a net and scoop them up.”

“But I’m not interested in fishing and selling fish.”
“Sure you are,” said Uncle Jack, leaning back and wiping his mouth. “Because you can go out on the dock holding your net and no one will worry that you’re just mooning about. It will look like you’re cheerfully and gainfully employed. It’s...your...cover.”

She said that shepherd's pie was designed to be a hodgepodge of things leftover. A thrifty recipe.

She said that shepherd's pie was designed to be a hodgepodge of things leftover. A thrifty recipe.