Only Mostly Devastated: Chapters 1–4

I’m too cool to abide by your mundane social expectations.

I held my breath. As in literally. Like if I was caught breathing it’d make it true, and our family would fall right off its precarious perch on the edge of a cliff called cancer.

Reluctantly, I shoved all the reasons why this would ruin everything to the back of my mind. I’d come to terms with it all later. In my room. After finding an appropriately melancholy playlist on Spotify.

Now you live in the same state as Will. Seeing him again might actually be plausible now.

Basically, she believes in a Great, Ethereal Being out there in the universe that gives us whatever we want as long as we pretend that we’re totally happy and satisfied and positive.

By the time they managed to produce an edible meal between them, the floor was littered with meal detritus in the form of eggshells, burnt toast, salt, pepper, and errant smudges of butter.

By the time they managed to produce an edible meal between them, the floor was littered with meal detritus in the form of eggshells, burnt toast, salt, pepper, and errant smudges of butter.

I ripped my keys out from the ignition and launched myself out of the car. Except I vastly overestimated my skills of dexterity.

In the brief seconds I spent slumped on the concrete, one arm dangling above my head in a seat belt sling, I had an epiphany. Everything happened for a reason, and somehow, something out there had been looking out for me after all.

Her dark brown skin was totally pimple- and blemish-free, her lips wore a swipe of clear lip gloss, and her curls sat fluffy and voluminous on her shoulders.

She hesitated. Which was fair, given what she’d seen of my competence levels so far. I straightened and tried to twist my face into an “I’ve totally got this” expression.

“Ollie-oop, this is Niamh and Lara,” Juliette said, pointing to the L’Oréal model and the punk-looking chick respectively.

“She’s completely convinced she’ll end up in a torrid summer romance one year.”

“Yeah, regale us with all the R-rated details, would you? God knows the rest of us don’t have much to report from over the summer.”

“Don’t knock yourself,” Niamh chided, holding her hand out to see.

“Uh...well...he hasn’t posted anything in a while, so I’m not sure he saw,” I faltered.

After watching my face as I got more and more dejected, Lara jumped in and changed the topic.

It seemed I was adopted into the rose-necklace group. Provisionally at least. I’d far from nailed my first impression, but apparently it hadn’t been a total fail.

After graciously forgiving them, I brought up the party in a casual tone, and the next thing I knew they’d said yes—with the caveat that Mom had to drop me off and pick me up.

“Let me guess. You don’t drink?”
“Not often,” I said airily. And by that, I meant “never.”

It was cooler not to drink in our circle. I couldn’t think of a way to say that without sounding like a pretentious douche bag, though, so I left it.

Before I spent too long floundering for a response, Juliette jumped in.

Abort mission. Now. Screw the repercussions.

Out in the front yard, I sucked in a lungful of air and narrowly avoided passing out. That might sound melodramatic, but I hadn’t realized how stifling the smoke and body heat and beer fumes were until they contrasted with clean, crisp air.

I couldn’t have five minutes’ reprieve from this absolute bad joke of a day, huh?

Then suddenly I spotted someone I knew making out with some willowy redheaded girl.

Not that I was any expert on kissing girls, but that was my layman’s opinion.

“Please. You’re as subtle as a sledgehammer,” Lara said.

“Yeah, well, I hope you’ve at least disclosed which guy you’re trying to impress to her. It’d be awkward if you both had the same conquest in mind, don’t you think?”

I knew it’d happen eventually, inevitably, but I wasn’t ready for that encounter yet.

Before I decided, the question became redundant.

“Anyone would think you weren’t happy to see me,” Will said in a fake hurt voice, pressing his free hand to his chest.
“I’ve never been much of a masochist, Will.”

He shot a cheeky smile to Mr. Theo, and glanced around the room to bask in the spotlight.

He cut the bravado act short and slumped into the chair, angling himself away from me while Mr. Theo held up his hands for quiet.

I’d spent all summer with a guy who was sweet, and thoughtful, and...and respectful. Only to find out he was the antithesis in real life. A guy who ignored my texts, and shunned me in front of his friends, and, apparently, had a bit of a superiority complex.