Slacker: Chapters 5–11

What they could do on their phones during the few minutes between classes would surpass any technology that existed when I was their age, but sometimes they had the maturity and attention span of newborn bats, sending out their first echo signals and then darting around following them in a pointless, directionless frenzy.

What they could do on their phones during the few minutes between classes would surpass any technology that existed when I was their age, but sometimes they had the maturity and attention span of newborn bats, sending out their first echo signals and then darting around following them in a pointless, directionless frenzy.

“Maybe," I replied sulkily. “But that’s not selling any raffle tickets. I can’t afford to buy them all on a guidance counselor’s salary. And it’s not going to look too kosher when I win the grand prize.”

“Maybe," I replied sulkily. “But that’s not selling any raffle tickets. I can’t afford to buy them all on a guidance counselor’s salary. And it’s not going to look too kosher when I win the grand prize.”

“Thanks for bringing this to my attention,” I told Daphne briskly.

I was anxious to meet with this fine young man and help him bring his blueprint for the Positive Action Group to fruition.

But a little clan warfare could be waged right on your phone.

The game opened with the usual fanfare of horns.

“Why’d you have to come in here?” he rasped in complaint.

The trumpets echoed off the tile walls as if heralding the arrival of some royal prince.

Totally caught—curse you, Mrs. Herzlich—I slipped through the door, careful not to reveal Eric, cowering behind me, his feet on the toilet seat.

He gave me a conspiratorial look. “Daphne Leibowitz was in my office this morning. She’s very excited about the Positive Action Group.”

He regarded me expectantly. That might have been the worst part. I didn’t have any questions, and I definitely didn’t want any answers.

When I said nothing, Mr. Fanta probed, “The first order of business should be to schedule a meeting, don’t you think?”

It was your chance to become proactive—to jump out of hiding and take the initiative with your own plan.

Sure, it was sleazy, and I felt a little bad about the dishonesty.

I was a drowning man thrashing for a life preserver.

The boy who put it all together is obviously a visionary, but he’s a little short on action.

“It was your debate performance,” she said solemnly. “A lot of kids don’t trust you.”

I was appalled. “I’m the most trustworthy guy in the school!”

She knows half the kids won’t be paying attention when they go to the ballot box. Jordan, Jordana—it’s all the same to them. She’s trying to siphon off my votes.

By the time she got done spreading the word that I’d been unfairly accused, I came back from a twenty-point deficit and won a seat in the student senate.

I was intrigued. “What do they do?”

While we were posing, an immense shadow loomed over us.

While we were posing, an immense shadow loomed over us.

I consulted my watch in dismay. “It isn’t even three-oh-one yet! Not even the Flash could leave school so fast!”

I consulted my watch in dismay. “It isn’t even three-oh-one yet! Not even the Flash could leave school so fast!”

“The kid has a sixth sense. When he feels my aura approaching, he runs out to the bathroom.”

Was something wrong with me that I’d attributed Houdini-like powers to this ordinary boy?

“Sure,” he agreed amiably. “I just need to hit the bathroom on the way.”

So I said, “I promise you, Cameron, I’ve got your back on this. If you need a little leeway from your teachers, I’ll speak to them. If you have trouble with any kids, you only have to come to me. I won’t let anything go wrong.”

“I guess I have to go,” I said with resignation.

“Yeah, before,” he conceded. “But now it looks like it’s going to be about something. I’m anxious to find out what.”

Daphne went into her emotional speech about the beaver who’d been uprooted by the new mall and abandoned by his colony and blah, blah, blah.

“Mark your calendars,” Mr. Faneuil Hall instructed the dispersing crowd.