The Words We Keep: Chapters 12–27

by Erin Stewart
After discovering her sister bleeding on the bathroom floor, sixteen-year-old Lily Larkin has trouble focusing on her own life and finding the words to express her pain.

Here are links to our lists for the novel: Prologue–Chapter 6, Chapters 7–11, Chapters 12–27, Chapters 28–40, Chapters 41–59
35 words 6 learners

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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. falter
    speak haltingly
    “She could be anywhere. Doing anything.”
    His voice falters on the anything, and I have to go upstairs to escape the look on his face, the worry he usually hides.
  2. chasm
    a deep opening in the earth's surface
    So we’re all here, standing on the edge of the Alice-shaped chasm, all our gravity still pointing to her.
  3. wan
    lacking vitality as from weariness or illness or unhappiness
    Downstairs, Dad's sitting at his desk, rubbing the back of his neck, his face wan, his shoulders slumped low.
  4. nostalgic
    unhappy about being away and longing for familiar things
    Even though I can barely see her, I can tell she’s looking at me—like, really looking at me—which is two parts unsettling and one part nostalgic.
  5. saunter
    walk leisurely and with no apparent aim
    Damon has sauntered over now.
  6. flounce
    walk in an emphatic or exaggerated way
    Kali flashes her smile-not-smile again and flounces off, her ponytail whipping unnecessarily hard behind her.
  7. dubious
    open to doubt or suspicion
    I want to ask more about these dubious sources, since I’ve seen Micah talk to exactly no one since he got here, but I’m hung up on the fact that he knows about my dating history.
  8. ilk
    a kind of person
    The guys have wannabe dreads and share Micah’s air of indifference about the names that Damon and his ilk shout at them in the parking lot.
  9. fester
    gnaw into; make resentful or angry
    He tells me he has to—has to—draw to keep everything from festering on the inside.
  10. funk
    a state of nervous depression
    She’s appointed herself the captain of the Alice Pep Squad, constantly trying to yank Alice out of her post-Fairview funk.
  11. mortification
    strong feelings of embarrassment
    Micah's face flushes pink as he shoots his mom a shut up—I'm serious look. I relish this rare moment of Micah mortification.
  12. laureate
    someone honored for great achievements
    All right, poet laureate of Ridgeline High, teach me.
  13. relapse
    deteriorate in health
    “And say I do go to college? What if I relapse and it’s all for nothing?”
  14. unsolicited
    not asked for
    Unsolicited life advice is really more your area of expertise.
  15. tinge
    a pale or subdued color
    Sitting on the lip of the tub, I stare at the tinge of blood that stains the grout.
  16. leper
    one afflicted with a disease involving wasting of body parts
    I jump away from Micah, pulling my hand from his like he’s a leper.
  17. lament
    express grief verbally
    She plucks my phone from my track bag and turns it toward me, showing a series of texts from her over the last few days. Nothing monumental, mostly just checking in, lamenting about this project, memes making fun of Coach Johnson’s red face.
  18. sheen
    the visual property of something that shines
    I walk to the school through a springtime fog that gives the night an eerie sheen, the smoky billows blanketing the houses and the path ahead.
  19. smolder
    have strong suppressed feelings
    “I mean, I’d hate to be walking around, inadvertently smoldering at people.”
  20. plume
    anything that resembles a feather in shape or lightness
    The waves crash onto the rocks, rough and hard, spraying plumes of frothy white into the air as we make our way over slick stones.
  21. earnestly
    in a sincere and serious manner
    “You still don’t trust me, do you?” He’s staring at me earnestly, and even though I’m standing on a cliff where a man died, with a boy who just told me he almost did, too, the funny thing is, I do. I trust him.
  22. erratic
    having no fixed course
    Still, knowing they’re reading my words makes my head a little woozy, my heart a little erratic, like I’m standing on the cliff again.
  23. billow
    rise and move, as in waves
    He draws a man, a smoky whisper of a being, all black strokes and billowy form being stripped away into nothing.
  24. obscurity
    the state of being indistinct due to lack of light
    I don’t know if it’s the obscurity of the night or the track where I’ve spent so much time chasing a better time—a better me—but I don’t stop the words.
  25. conventional
    unimaginative and conformist
    “Do you ask all your project partners out on dates?”
    “I’m officially horrified that you think I’m capable of something so conventional.”
  26. sidle
    move unobtrusively or furtively
    Margot has heard us whispering and has sidled up next to Dad, along with Staci, who has just come in from teaching yoga.
  27. blatantly
    in a completely obvious manner
    He shakes his head as Staci’s particular brand of magic works on him, and he gives me a hug and tells me he loves me before going back into his office, where he blatantly opens the blinds to watch Micah.
  28. undermine
    weaken or impair, especially gradually
    They say their hellos and ask me how I know Micah, and he jumps in to make it clear we’re just partners on a school project, but he gives me his signature eyebrow lift that undermines his words and takes me right back to the way he exhaled my name in the dark.
  29. titter
    laugh nervously
    The room titters with laughter.
  30. ominously
    in a manner suggesting something bad will happen
    “Mental illness affects one out of four Americans. So think of your three closest friends. You picturing them? Now, if they all seem stable, I hate to tell you this—” She holds the mic close, breathing into it ominously.
  31. compulsive
    having obsessive habits or irresistible urges
    “But now Mr. Fix-It Micah and his compulsive need to meddle in people’s lives has gone and messed it all up.”
  32. candor
    the quality of being honest and straightforward
    Afraid this moment of candor will end when we open the car doors, I add, “Alice, I just want to say, seeing you up there, it was like...like...” I can’t find the right words, but I try anyway. “I’ve just missed you, that’s all.”
  33. rendezvous
    a meeting planned at a certain time and place
    Two nights later, I wake for another guerrilla poets rendezvous, to find Alice teetering on top of her desk in pajamas, pulling the glow-in-the-dark stars off the ceiling.
  34. indiscretion
    the trait of lacking good judgment or tact
    “Or maybe we were just high on art and had a moment of artistic indiscretion?”
  35. reverberate
    ring or echo with sound
    Alice's voice reverberates in the night.
Created on Fri May 19 12:24:37 EDT 2023 (updated Sat May 20 18:35:52 EDT 2023)

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