Quiet Power: Part One

Summer camp turned out to be the exact opposite of quiet time with my family. It was more like one long, raucous birthday party—and I couldn’t even phone my parents to take me home.

Every day I pumped my arms and smiled wide, doing my best approximation of a lively, gregarious camper.

You can take action to find your equilibrium—even before you get back to the sanctuary of your room at home.

Davis probably understood this intuitively; that’s why after the gum incident, he started sitting at the front of the bus, where no one bothered him.

“It was about making a plan and role-playing how to initiate conversations," she says.

The more you notice how special your introverted qualities are—and how some of the things you like best about yourself are probably connected to your introverted nature—the more your confidence will flourish and spread to other areas of your life.

The middle and high school years are the most difficult times to be introverted, because when hundreds of kids are crammed together in a single building it can feel as if the only way to gain respect and friendship is through vivacity and visibility.

The boisterous environments common to schools are often taxing to introverts.

Instead of enriching the discussion, said Brianna, the Popsicle stick technique led to meaningless blather. Kids spoke up just to be able to throw a stick into the center.

A strong class discussion can be a great way to keep students engaged with the material. But the key word is engaged. A quiet student who says little to nothing could be just as engaged as an outgoing one who tosses out responses effortlessly.

If this issue is impacting you on a daily basis, though, or if it’s inhibiting you from doing things you’d like to do, consider seeking the guidance of a counselor or psychologist.

Still others said that they learned to focus on and direct their comments to the classmates who seem warm and supportive, not the ones who appear too cool and haughty.

For some of you reading this book, it may feel as if your discomfort with speaking in class is insurmountable. But you can do this—and you may find that it’s much easier than you think.

Another famous study by Jim Collins found that every single one of the eleven best performing companies in the U.S. were led by CEOs who were described by their peers as “modest,” “unassuming,” “soft-spoken,” “quiet,” and “shy.”

To call her a bookworm is an understatement; she practically devours her school’s reading list, in addition to enjoying fantasy and sci-fi novels on her own.

By choosing a congenial group with a variety of talents, Elliot, Liam, and Meredith created something they were truly proud of.

The staff had unanimously agreed that the first issue should have the collage-y look of a scrapbook or Tumblr page, but when the graphic designer presented her work at the meeting, Lucy saw right away that it hadn’t achieved that artsy feel—there weren’t enough pictures and the font was too formal.

Others are more comfortable playing the role of devil’s advocate, or facilitating a group meeting by asking for others’ ideas, without necessarily advancing their own.

ADVOCATE FOR QUIET: Before any group discussion, suggest that everyone take a few minutes to come up with ideas quietly. This may help both the introverted and extroverted members of your group pause and frame their thoughts, leading to more meaningful conversations.

Grace was tempted to tell the others to calm down and give him a chance, but that wasn’t her way. Instead, she raised her hand during a lull in the conversation and asked him if he wanted to speak.

When the interview session was over, Grace wasn’t sure how she had fared. Had she spoken enough to show the teachers that she could be a “leader”?

When I traveled around the U.S. visiting different private and public schools, I noticed two problematic trends: The first was that many educators seemed to value leadership as a quality that all students should have—even though many students prefer to live autonomously, to chart their own paths.

The brash, bold, popular kids often get the most attention, but don’t let appearances fool you!

As an introverted leader, Fisher is in esteemed company.

Bill Gates, the genius who transformed Microsoft into one of the most profitable and powerful companies in the world and has since launched the Gates Foundation—one of the world’s most innovative philanthropic organizations—is another self-professed introvert.

Her mother, a beautiful, social aristocrat, had nicknamed Eleanor “Granny” because of her demeanor.

By 1928, when FDR was elected governor of New York, she was the director of the Bureau of Women’s Activities for the Democratic Party and one of the most influential people in American politics.

When solitude wore on him, he joined the middle-school math team and, thanks to his ability to focus intently on problems for a long time, excelled in competitions.

As one of the only people of color at his predominantly white school, Davis had often been made to feel like an outsider.

Laurie, an athletic and ambitious teenager from Westchester, New York, described how she cultivated a similarly quiet manner of leadership.

As a senior, she fully saw the effects of her efforts when the team had an unprecedented run of success.

Quietly powerful leaders have guided us throughout history. And as Davis’s story exemplifies, your own quiet strength will shine through, even among your louder and bubblier peers.

Davis was terrified when he had to speak in front of his peers, but instead of trying to be the funny, social guy, he focused his speeches on the substantive reasons he was running for office.

Introverts specialize in forging deep personal relationships.

Generous leaders make sure that others have a sense of purpose, by giving them key roles and by soliciting their opinions and acting on them when they make sense.