Bunnicula: Chapters 4–5

So, of course, he needs lots of food to keep up his strength. Good food like cheese crackers, chocolate cupcakes (my very favorite, the kind with cream in the middle, mmmm!), pretzels and peanut butter sandwiches. The last I cannot abide because my mouth always gets stuck.

Usually, I’m a little more subtle but, having missed out on the bacon at breakfast, I was not about to take any chances on the chocolate cupcakes (with cream in the center).

"As a matter of fact,” I said, trying valiantly to regain my dignity, "we were talking about Treasure Island. Ever hear of it?”

"Oh. Then, tell me, Chester, what is a parrot?” Chester looked at me scornfully.

"A parrot,” he said, "is a tropical zygodactyl bird (order psittaciformes) that has a stout curved hooked bill, is often crested, brightly variegated and an excellent mimic. In other words, Harold, a parrot is a little bird with a big mouth.”

"A parrot,” he said, "is a tropical zygodactyl bird (order psittaciformes) that has a stout curved hooked bill, is often crested, brightly variegated and an excellent mimic. In other words, Harold, a parrot is a little bird with a big mouth.”

"A parrot,” he said, "is a tropical zygodactyl bird (order psittaciformes) that has a stout curved hooked bill, is often crested, brightly variegated and an excellent mimic. In other words, Harold, a parrot is a little bird with a big mouth.”

"I’m here, you great oaf!”

"An obscure dialect of the Carpathian mountain region,” I answered smugly. He didn’t know everything.

Whereupon, he stuck his paw under the chair cushion and brought out with a flourish an assortment of strange white objects.

I was aghast. What did it all mean?

"Obviously,” I retorted.

There was a soft scamper across the linoleum, and we turned just in time to see a little white tail bounce out the door into the living room.

He slunk across the room slowly, muscles taut, eyes alert.

He slunk across the room slowly, muscles taut, eyes alert.

When he was about six inches away, he stuck out his paw, closed his eyes and batted at the object tentatively.

"Hey! Maybe it’s a vegetable blight, Mom.”

"It’s DDT, Mom,” Peter interjected, "I know about this stuff. It’s because you buy vegetables that aren’t organic.”

His eyes were wide and staring. The corners of his mouth were pulled back in an evil grimace.

He cackled menacingly and threw back his head as if he were laughing at all of us.

He cackled menacingly and threw back his head as if he were laughing at all of us.

"I’m a vampire, you dolt. Can’t you tell? I’m trying to warn them.”

I was toying with the notion of slinking under the table when Chester fixed me with his eyes.

I felt an inexplicable urge to murmur "Yes, Master,” when he walked slowly, steadily toward me.

"That’s right, make fun. All of you. No one understands. I tried to warn them, and they wouldn’t heed. Now, I’m going to take matters into my own hands.”