Part II, Chapter 6: "First Confession" by Frank O'Connor

She had a fat, wrinkled old face, and, to Mother's great indignation, went round the house in bare feet—the boots had her crippled, she said.

For dinner she had a jug of porter and a pot of potatoes with—sometimes—a bit of salt fish, and she poured out the potatoes on the table and ate them slowly, with great relish, using her fingers by way of a fork.

Now, girls are supposed to be fastidious, but I was the one who suffered most from this.

Being always very ambitious I was tempted to volunteer, but I thought it might look greedy.

But the worst of all was when she showed us how to examine our conscience.

Did we covet our neighbour's goods?

Sure, if you didn't the parish priest would be up to the house, looking for you.

She became the raging malicious devil she really was.

"And I hope he'll give you the penitential psalms, you dirty little caffler."

He joined his hands and rolled his eyes in the direction of the roof, muttering aspirations in an anguished tone, and I wondered had he a grandmother too.

He joined his hands and rolled his eyes in the direction of the roof, muttering aspirations in an anguished tone, and I wondered had he a grandmother too.

God, the hypocrisy of women! Her eyes were lowered, her head was bowed, and her hands were joined very low down on her stomach, and she walked up the aisle to the side altar looking like a saint.

I lost my grip, tumbled, and hit the door an unmerciful wallop before I found myself flat on my back in the middle of the aisle.

This reminded me that I was so stunned I had even forgotten to cry, so that people might think I wasn't hurt at all, when in fact I was probably maimed for life.

"How dare you hit the child like that, you little vixen?"

"But I can't do my penance with him, father," Nora cried, cocking an outraged eye up to him.

Nora stuck out her tongue at me from behind his back, but I couldn't even be bothered retorting.

"Someone will go for her with a bread-knife one day, and he won't miss her," he said rather cryptically.

"Dozens of them," he said solemnly. "And they all died roaring."

"Three Hail Marys," she repeated incredulously. "You mustn't have told him anything."