Freak the Mighty: Chapters 1–5

Okay, I'm out there messing around and that's when I see the moving van. Not your mainstream, nationwide, brand-name mover, either, just some cheapo local outfit.

All mechanical objects require periodic maintenance.

All mechanical objects require periodic maintenance.

We'll schedule installation of a new propulsion unit as soon as the Fair Gwen of Air gets a replacement.

"Grim would be, I suppose, a sobriquet for your grandfather, based on his demeanor.''

Pardon my vocabulary. Sobriquet means 'nickname’ and demeanor means 'expression.’

I merely postulated that you call your grandfather 'Grim' because he's grim.

They wore this metal armor to protect them and make them invincible.

"The design limitations of the human body. You know, like we're not bullet-proof and we can't crush rocks with our bare hands, and if we touch a hot stove we get burned. King Arthur wanted to improve his men, so he made them armor-plated. Then he programmed them to go out and do these quests, slay the dragons and so on, which is sort of how they program robots right now."

Robotics, the science of designing and building functional robots, is a huge industry. There are thousands of robot units presently in use. Millions of them. They don't look like the robots you see in movies, of course, because they're designed according to function.

Many robotic devices are in fact sophisticated assembly units, machines that put together cars and trucks and computers.

"Opiate, a drug," he says. "Massive, that means large and heavy. Thus television is the drug of fat heads. Opiate of the massives."

We were all of us living over in the tenements in those days, because the rent was so cheap and we were all just starting out.

The Fair Gwen makes this really tasty potato salad with spices and stuff, way better than the mushy stuff Gram makes, and we have hot dogs fried in a pan with the buns toasted up butter-crisp just the way I like, and two kinds of relish and three kinds of mustard, and red onions cut up real small.

"Expel the object!" Freak shouts. "Regurgitate, you big moron!" and he gives me another thump and I cough up this yucky mess, but I'm still laughing so hard my nose is running.