If the adjective reluctant applies to you, it means that you are undergoing some inner struggle and are unwilling or unable to decide.
The word reluctant comes from the Latin reluctantem, which means "to struggle against." These days reluctant means “unwilling.” If you’re reluctant to dance to a terrible song, you’re unwilling to shake your booty, and you might even have to struggle against your friends who try to get you on the dance floor. You might offer them a reluctant smile instead (and hope it doesn’t look like a grimace).
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