reluctant

If the adjective reluctant applies to you, it means that you are undergoing some inner struggle and are unwilling or unable to decide.

The word reluctant comes from the Latin reluctantem, which means "to struggle against." These days reluctant means “unwilling.” If you’re reluctant to dance to a terrible song, you’re unwilling to shake your booty, and you might even have to struggle against your friends who try to get you on the dance floor. You might offer them a reluctant smile instead (and hope it doesn’t look like a grimace).

Definitions of reluctant
  1. adjective
    not eager
    “foreigners stubbornly reluctant to accept our ways”
    “fresh from college and reluctant for the moment to marry him”
    Synonyms:
    uneager
    lacking interest or spirit or animation
  2. adjective
    disinclined to become involved
    “they were usually reluctant to socialize”
    reluctant to help”
    Synonyms:
    disinclined
    unwilling because of mild dislike or disapproval
  3. adjective
    unwilling to do something contrary to your custom
    “a reluctant smile”
    synonyms: loath, loth
    unwilling
    not disposed or inclined toward
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