Three Little Words: Chapters 4–6

by Ashley Rhodes-Courter
When her mother could not care for her, Ashley Rhodes-Courter moved between fourteen different foster homes over nine years. In this memoir, she retraces her heartbreaking journey.

Here are links to our lists for the memoir: Preface–Chapter 3, Chapters 4–6, Chapters 7–9, Chapter 10–Epilogue
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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. confirmation
    additional proof that something that was believed is correct
    “Don’t worry, Lukie, we’re just going to visit Mama, and then we are coming back when Grandpa is better, right?” I looked up for some confirmation, but the worker avoided my eye.
  2. fray
    a noisy fight
    In a few weeks four more children joined the fray, for a total of eleven foster children between the ages of two and six.
  3. vie
    compete for something
    I was disgusted by the piles of dirty diapers, the snotty noses, and the screeches of children vying for any sort of attention.
  4. desperate
    showing extreme urgency or intensity because of great need
    We were a needy bunch of baby birds who had fallen out of our original nests and were desperate for any scrap of attention.
  5. detest
    dislike intensely
    My mother, my grandfather, and Adele detested the state people, so I did too.
  6. meddle
    intrude in other people's affairs or business
    If they would stop meddling in our lives, we would be fine.
  7. fuss
    care for like a mother
    Adele had fussed over us even more than our mother had.
  8. logical
    marked by an orderly and coherent relation of parts
    It seemed logical to me that Luke and I would be safest with someone who actually loved us.
  9. yearning
    prolonged unfulfilled desire or need
    After dinner I would sit on the porch swing and wait for the first star so I could make my eternal wish: to be with my mother. My yearning was like an insect bite.
  10. anxious
    causing or fraught with or showing nervousness
    The more anxious I was, the more intensely I gnawed on my fingernails, sometimes making my fingers bleed.
  11. prevail
    prove superior
    I knew I should turn it off, but I kept hoping that the good guys would prevail so I wouldn’t have to go to bed with the frightening images etched in my mind.
  12. gruesome
    shockingly repellent; inspiring horror
    I shuddered as the story became even more gruesome.
  13. tally
    the act of counting; reciting numbers in ascending order
    According to my tally, Mrs. Hagen was my eighth so-called mother in three and a half years.
  14. cope
    come to terms with
    To cope, I pretended I was destined for a different life, just like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, the Little Princess and, of course, Alice.
  15. infraction
    a violation of a law or rule
    As long as I pretended to listen and said I was sorry for any infractions, I got off without much punishment.
  16. envious
    painfully desirous of another's advantages
    I loved school, but I was envious of the children whose parents walked them to the classroom door in the morning and were waiting outside when the bell rang each afternoon.
  17. dubious
    fraught with uncertainty or doubt
    While I was already dubious about many of the foster parents and caseworkers, I do not remember being angry or resenting my mother.
  18. elapse
    pass by
    I ignored her broken promises and pretended to be unaware of elapsed time when it came to her.
  19. decrepit
    worn and broken down by hard use
    We pulled up to a trailer that was even more decrepit than my portable classroom at Seffner Elementary.
  20. maintenance
    means of upkeep of a family or group
    I sensed she was trying to calculate whether good grades made me low maintenance or more trouble.
  21. reprieve
    the act of postponing or remitting punishment
    He looked up at Mrs. Moss to see if he would get a reprieve.
  22. influence
    the effect of one thing or person on another
    “I heard you might be a good influence on him. That’s why I took you in; but if you start trouble, I’ll call Miles in a heartbeat.”
  23. strand
    leave isolated with little hope of rescue
    I felt as if Miles Ferris had stranded me on a remote island.
  24. capacity
    the amount that can be contained
    At one point there were as many as fourteen children in there, plus the parents, even though their legal capacity was for only seven.
  25. chaotic
    completely unordered and unpredictable and confusing
    It was comforting to know that the other kids’ lives were as accidental and chaotic as ours were.
  26. menagerie
    a collection of live animals for study or display
    The Moss menagerie also included a mule, goats, cows, and various smaller animals.
  27. meager
    deficient in amount or quality or extent
    She poured a meager portion of Lucky Charms into a plastic bowl, and then she rummaged in the refrigerator for a gallon of milk.
  28. humiliate
    cause to feel shame
    I don’t know what was worse: the taste of the curdled milk, watching Luke eat the sickening concoction, vomiting, being humiliated, smelling my mess up close, or having to clean it up, which I couldn’t do to her satisfaction.
  29. injustice
    an unfair act
    I mentally cataloged all the injustices in the Moss household—the vomiting episode, going hungry, the hot-sauce treatments—so I could inform her on my next visit.
  30. contemplate
    reflect deeply on a subject
    Inside the trailer Mrs. Moss drummed her fingers on the counter as she contemplated my punishment.
  31. pummel
    strike, usually with the fist
    She pulled a slotted spoon from a crockery pot on the counter and began pummeling my butt.
  32. confidential
    given in secret
    “Whatever you say will be confidential,” he told me softly. “We’re here to protect you and the other children.”
  33. discipline
    punish in order to gain control or enforce obedience
    She admitted being disciplined by standing in the corner, squatting, and running laps.
  34. trauma
    an emotional wound or shock having long-lasting effects
    “This one tells stories,” Mrs. Moss said between pursed lips. “Been through a lot of trauma... saw her grandfather shot...”
  35. sadistic
    deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on another
    In the meantime, I was determined not to be the center of Marjorie Moss’s sadistic attention, although I could never tell what might spark her rage.
  36. bristle
    a stiff fiber
    If the meager layer of bathwater was filthy, I would try to get away with a quick rinse; but if Mrs. Moss did not think I had washed myself thoroughly, she dragged me back into the bath and scrubbed me so hard with a bristle brush that it sometimes scraped off my skin.
  37. fulfill
    meet the requirements or expectations of
    They talked over our heads as though we could not comprehend their shorthand, but I heard enough to figure out that my mother had not fulfilled the requirements to get us back yet.
  38. transition
    a change from one place or state or subject to another
    At the time the word was meaningless to me, but termination of parental rights—usually abbreviated as TPR in the system—is a huge transition in a child’s life.
  39. termination
    the act of ending something
    Of course, I did not know what that entailed, only that the hushed voices and sideways glances meant that this was a big deal—and I had a stomach-churning sensation that “termination” was not something I would like.
  40. mollify
    cause to be more favorably inclined
    “I’ll get them later,” he said to mollify me, then slammed the door.
Created on Wed Apr 06 13:21:25 EDT 2016 (updated Thu Sep 20 15:06:33 EDT 2018)

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