The Girls I've Been: Chapters 53–69

by Tess Sharpe
A seventeen-year-old girl must use all the skills she has learned as the daughter of a con artist in order to survive being held hostage by two men trying to rob the bank of a small town in California.

Here are links to our lists for the novel: Chapters 1–15, Chapters 16–27, Chapters 28–41, Chapters 42–52, Chapters 53–69
40 words 5 learners

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Full list of words from this list:

words only definitions & notes
  1. unkempt
    not neatly combed
    The wind whips at my double braids, unpinned and unkempt for once.
  2. imposition
    an uncalled-for burden
    “I’ll get it,” I say, like it’s an imposition.
  3. protege
    a person who receives support from an influential patron
    My entire life has led up to this moment, and I am the picture of fearful promise, my mother’s pretty protégé: Don’t blink—smile, and sell it.
  4. indiscernible
    difficult or impossible to perceive
    Deputy Reynolds: Do not make me pull my gun on you!
    [Indiscernible yelling]
  5. searing
    extremely hot
    He dumps me at the end of the hall, much too close to the fire, and turns back to Red Cap. I struggle to my feet, staggering backward into the pocket of air that’s near to searing.
  6. feral
    wild and menacing
    I’ve gone feral, every tool and clever trick chased from my head in a flood of smoke and trapped, Wes is trapped in there.
  7. elation
    a feeling of joy and pride
    He whoops as he zooms down the ranchland highway, no one following us yet. His elation is thick in the air and it just spells death for me, but why should he care? He’s nearly home free.
  8. cipher
    a person of no influence
    Mom raised girls who could go invisible, ciphers who could turn into someone else with a bottle of drugstore hair dye and a smile in the mirror as they repeat names like a magic spell as they are born anew.
  9. clamber
    climb awkwardly, as if by scrambling
    I bend down and grab a handful of dirt from the ground before I clamber up the ladder.
  10. crest
    reach a high point
    His head crests the floor of the loft and he spots me immediately.
  11. feint
    deceive by a mock action
    I feint to the right, but he’s moving with so much purpose and that purpose is to hurt me enough to get me to finally break.
  12. hindsight
    understanding the nature of an event after it has happened
    “I should’ve shot you when I had the chance,” he tells me.
    “Hindsight and all that.”
  13. banshee
    a female spirit who wails to warn of impending death
    He gloats it out like a banshee cackle and I hate that he’s right.
  14. undertow
    a current that flows away from the shore after waves break
    The relief sucks all the fight out of me, and I’ve got to dig my heels into the ground to fight the undertow.
  15. flank
    be located at the sides of something or somebody
    “Iris,” I say, but I get flanked by Jessie and Lee, half supported, half walked out of the barn.
  16. reckoning
    a time or act of being held accountable; a settling of accounts
    All I feel is a different kind of relief, even though adding to the pile of secrets I’ve kept from her is not ideal. She’ll catch me someday, and it’s going to be a reckoning I’ll never be ready for.
  17. appease
    make peace with
    Lee agrees to go downstairs to get my antibiotics at the pharmacy while I sit with Iris, and Wes has to go appease his own parents, so it’s just me, hovering in her doorway.
  18. intact
    undamaged in any way
    “We’ll get him,” I say again, and I shouldn’t be mean when my sister looks as wrecked as she does, but I’m not leaving him after this horrible day that was supposed to start with donuts and hurt feelings and end with, I dunno, French fries and forgiveness and our friendship intact.
  19. listless
    lacking zest or vivacity
    “They didn’t give me anything but oxygen and burn cream,” Wes says, and Iris just waves listlessly, which I think Lee takes as a yes.
  20. undercurrent
    a feeling or tendency that is not explicitly expressed
    He’s playing it so casual, but there’s an undercurrent to his voice, to the shine in his eyes.
  21. palatable
    acceptable to the taste or mind
    “I thought I could control it this time. How she found out about me. How you found out about us. I thought I could make it neat and new and...palatable, I guess.”
  22. pyrotechnic
    suggestive of fireworks
    “I can’t let her take credit for my pyrotechnic skills,” Iris says, sounding prim even when squished between the pillows and the two of us.
  23. hub
    central part of a car wheel through which the axle passes
    He settles on one side and I sit down on the other, my back against the wheel hub.
  24. chasm
    an unbridgeable gap, break, or disagreement
    The truck bed yawns between us, an ever-widening chasm, and only he has the rope to toss to me.
  25. profound
    showing intellectual penetration or emotional depth
    “Aren’t we all running from something?”
    “That might sound profound on a mug or a photo of a winding road, but come on.”
  26. bane
    something causing misery or death
    “You girls,” he says.
    “Bane of your existence?” I suggest, a mix of honey and acid that makes his mouth quirk.
  27. bullion
    gold or silver in bars or ingots
    And not a bottle of tiny nuggets—we’re talking six 400-ounce bars of gold bullion.
  28. fortitude
    strength of mind that enables one to endure adversity
    So I take two of the bars. I don’t take all of them, only because it’d be too heavy, not because I’m struck with some sort of moral fortitude.
  29. gauntlet
    a call to engage in a contest or fight
    Step one: Book a flight.
    Step two: Throw down the gauntlet.
    Step three: Survive, somehow.
  30. vanity
    low table with a mirror where one sits while dressing
    I look at the actress she’s pointing to, and then I turn, staring at myself in her vanity mirror.
  31. glean
    collect or gather bit by bit, especially information
    She’s searching for clues. For tells. For anything she can glean and use.
  32. chum
    bait consisting of chopped fish
    It’s so real, she barreled forward into the gator’s mouth, knowing he might bite down. And when he did, she dragged me into the water with them. Chum for the taking.
  33. resignation
    acceptance of an unpleasant but inevitable situation
    I hang my head, staring at my feet. The feeling inside me isn’t resignation or hurt. It’s a kind of click that locks away any hope forever.
  34. kindred
    similar in quality or character
    “He really did deal in the dirtiest kind of information, didn’t he? Kindred spirits, the two of you.”
  35. appeal
    a legal proceeding to review a lower court decision
    “Baby, he is up for an appeal next year. It’s an uphill battle, but he’s got the best lawyers.”
  36. jut
    extend out or project in space
    I can see her collarbone jutting out from under the khaki scrubs.
  37. cultivated
    marked by refinement in taste and manners
    She’s thinner in here. And not in the cultivated gym-rat way she’d been when I was a kid.
  38. remorseful
    feeling or expressing pain or sorrow
    She’s angry. Not remorseful. Not guilty.
  39. composure
    steadiness of mind under stress
    My stomach flips. I have got to get out of here before I lose all composure.
  40. adversity
    a state of misfortune or affliction
    I let myself flat-out ugly-sob in the prison visitor lobby like I’m in a bad movie about teens overcoming adversity.
Created on Thu Feb 01 11:15:12 EST 2024 (updated Thu Feb 01 16:44:43 EST 2024)

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